fucking fuck off and get off my website too.

i originally showed you this because i wanted you to see what i was really thinking right from the start. that i never had anything bad to say, even without you reading it. that’s how i honestly felt. that i never convinced myself that you must have liked me…i never thought like that for a second. but you continue to think that way.

so you’ve ruined it now. you ruined your privilege to view this, and you ruined my coping outlet. you had to use this as a means to attack something unrelated and uncalled for, in a way that you were supposed to be SO ABOVE. but you literally stooped to that level. the level you deem “crazy.” hypocritical as fuck.

i don’t have nice things to say to you/about you anymore. i’m allowed to express my hurt. i’m allowed to feel hurt about everything you did from the start, and i’m allowed to continue to hurt from having no closure, and being mocked and further lied to under the guise of an “apology.” 

i know i could have been the girl you “thought” i was, but you know…you don’t even deserve that girl. that girl doesn’t need someone who lies to her, who manipulates her emotions and just uses her for his own satisfaction. that girl deserves someone who is actually a friend and is open, honest, and makes her feel like she can be the same. that girl is great, but you are a douchebag. you treated me like shit from day one. why should i have rewarded that? 

fuck off until you can accept that your behaviour put me here and understand me.